You must have heard this quietly under someone’s breathe “he’s loaded!” Is this remark supposed to impress me or make me act in a certain way? Respect to me has nothing to do with money, but so many of things in life seem to cater for money or money is used to gain respect from others. People seem to change their attitude towards others when they think they have money or don’t have it.
This has been irritating me for a while know and I want to get it off my chest.
I have watched people completely change the way they act around people if they think they have money, or if they don’t, I am going to use an example.
One rainy day long before Kerry and I had the girls we would go for walks along the coast, so when Kerry’s walking got worse, I would push her in the wheelchair and for anyone that has had to do that, you get very hot very quickly. So, one day on are walk we stumbled on a military fair at the park hotel, so we went in. It had been raining so standing dripping with water pooling at my feet from my Fila raincoat, myself and Kerry looked a little liked drown rats. I always loved military fairs, you can feel the history in the room and the buzz from all the stalls. While we were looking around, which is quite difficult to push the wheelchair around without tipping Kerry out of it or killing someone with the wheels; when I spotted swords! I love weapons and couldn’t help myself; I am a sword slut. The man took one look at Kerry and I and made an instant decision that we were poor. I asked how much a WWII officers sword was and he told me it was very expensive and out of my price range (how rude), he then sort of moved his swords as if I was going to make a made dash for the door with Kerry in the wheelchair and the swords on her knee like the old Japanese film lone wolf and cub, where they had a heavily armed baby pram . After this snub we then went on to find another stall where I found and bought another NCO sword for a reasonable price from a lovely man that could not be more helpful. We looked around the fair and as we were leaving the man from the first stall asked me what I had bought and to his shock and surprise I showed him my find and his jaw hit the floor; then frantically tried to show me other swords I may like, but I then acted like Julia Roberts in pretty woman, when she was told to leave a shop because they didn’t like the look of her then she returned looking stunning with a lot of designer bags to rub there noses in it ; that was me.
Speaking of designer shops, we were in Puerto Banus on holiday and the girls were quite young and as we went down to the harbour Kerry and Molly went to look in a very posh designer shop. They quickly came out with Kerry saying they were not made very welcoming by the staff, so even though molly was not old she said that they gave off a bad feeling in the shop; it just shows that children can pick up on things very well and are good judges of character.
In the Martial Arts respect should be shown to everyone, “everything should begin and end in respect” is one of my favourite sayings and a life lesson. Unfortunately, some people try and make you respect them by telling you their rank and making people call them Master or some grand title and you should bow to their every need or you should treat them with great honour, because they want you to feel that they are some Demi god.
I have trained with world class martial artists and what I have found the better the artist the humbler and more respectful they seem to be, those are the once that deserve respect because they did not ask for it they are just being themselves and not putting up a front like these so-called masters.
I have had people coming in for private classes demanding that I should teach them at a time of their convenience and argue over class fees. I don’t put up with this now as I have taught full time for 25 years with over 37 years in the arts; I teach who I want to and don’t get swayed by money to give a grade out or be talked down to because I am the hired help. Some people that came to me with this attitude said it is refreshing that someone tells them straight and does not bend when money is put on the table. Respect is a 2-way street you should earn it and give it to everyone not just the people you think you should. Martial Arts is badly corrupt in this area, with people buying grades and thinking they have earned them then try and make other people feel bad to boost their own ego. Others try to make you fear them and their hardman image, I have just heard this one “I won’t respect you because I don’t fear you “ leave that for the drug dealers and out of the arts ; stop grabbing for money and making the arts a joke with you 8 year old 2nd dans just because mammy and daddy are loaded.
Big love from the AFC x