Everything is a pain

Years ago, when I saw people warm up, I used to think that will not happen to me; as they complained about everything.

Fast-forward to the present day, were I am just rehabilitating my shoulder that was partly dislocated last year and I did not know (It had jumped out and back in during a pad work class and had rolled forward and my traps and frontal deltoid had been holding it up until I stopped at Christmas). When I went to my chiropractor he told me it was out, but my muscles were keeping it up, so I have spent all of Christmas and new year in pain trying to get my shoulder back in place but to do that I must stretch and rest my shoulder; easier said than done when you have my kind of lifestyle. Sometimes you don’t realise you are in pain until you rest because you keep doing the same actions day in day out until you physically can’t move. When you do rest you seem to be in more pain than you were before you stopped, not very fair it seems. You must go through the painful light stretching motions and try to rest in a comfortable position (there is none) but that affects you in many ways. Mood swings is a very real thing when it comes to living with pain, it gets you down, you get p***sed off and take it out on your loved ones (sorry xx) you also can get very low and depressed sitting in your own silent cell while you scream to try and release the pressure. This leaves you very tired and not so much fun to be around which leads to tension in your life. Sometimes you push your love ones away because they can’t help you but ask you if there is anything they can do…. This is frustrating, because they can’t. You must take into consideration that it is also painful for them watching you suffer; so, don’t take it out on them. I am finding it harder to do the things that got me into this state with my body and I sometimes think about what I should have done to stop this happening to me; but as Connor McGregor said

“I REGRET NOTHING” (but in a Dublin accent)

Sometimes it is a mental trauma which causes you pain, these are harder to see but are very much real to the person that is carrying it in their head. sometimes their therapy comes in the form of training; that hour-long fix that they need for themselves to fend off the dark thoughts they carry with them all week. Sometimes they become overpowering and leads to physical illness on top of mental anguish; sometimes the scars are on the inside.

The scars I have, show I have done something and the injuries and damage shows that I but in the effort and 100% commitment even though I am in pain all the time, each injury and broken bone is like a small piece of my character making me the person you see before you; fighting the pain, but still fighting; that’s all I Can do!

Until next time

Big love from the AFC

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